I had a little holiday today thanks to my civics tutor.
Long story. Basically is all pertaining to that stupid trip to tekong to see what fancy stuffs the army has come up with for national servants. Each class is supposed to send 3 representatives to go and knowing well that nobody will bother to volunteer , my civics tutor came up with this unconventional way of drawing lots. A classmate was given the task to do so and what luck , my name was chosen. Such a coincidence in hitting the jackpot. Strike 4-D also never so zhun LOR.
So well , I told my civics tutor numerious times I am simply not interested. Apparently , she doesnt get the hint. Is not that I dun respect her , I do think she is quite a good civics tutor compared to some others I heard of. But I got annoyed when she told me that "sorry , dun have a choice , you have to go". Hello ?! Firstly , I told u I am simply not interested in this trip. Secondly , you are imposing this autocratic rule saying that I have to go when I am being forced to go aginst my own will. Sorry , but I beg to differ. Yes , I do have a choice. I will give myself a break from this damning conformity I am being tied to currently. Dun tell me that I dun have a choice please because I simply won't be caught dead in this situation of being forced to go there. Not interested in viewing all these farcical packages in the so-called "open house". I will get to see and experience the real things when I get employed by the nation. If you think I have an attitude problem , pardon me please. That's because I have an attitude while you are the problem.
Alright , I sounds like an utterly screwed up person. But hey , as if life is not screwed up enough already. Just give me a break , excuse me from all these redundant stuffs the school has come up with. I will go if only I am interested. If I am not , sorry then , that's the way it goes. Nevertheless , I guess I owe my civics tutor a treat. I have been planning for a little break some day and you made it realised so soon. Thanks for hastening this idea.
So I met up with my pal who self-declared that school ended for him 2 hours before the usual time today. Went to AMK so that I can have a short chat with the usual doctor and after getting the obvious ultimate purpose done , we went to hunt for protective gloves so that we can prevent our hands from being disfigured way before enlisting while doing pull-ups. Managed to find them but the price is a bit steep so we need some time to consider first. Lunch at S-11 and I committed a sin by eating my favourite western food considering the weather was so hot but yet I allowed myself to indulge in heaty food. The western food there really win hands down and I always can't overcome the temptation to order it everytime I happen to eat there. This time is not excluded. If only Serangoon has more variety of good food..if only..the school canteen..oh wait. The school canteen vendors should be sent to those community centres to take up cooking classes and cook more edible food please. I think the school can function better without these people. It seems that they are back in their childhood days when they played masak-masak and dished out food to imaginary people and they bring these memories back in their adulthood. Look at the way they prepare food for us. OMG. School canteen is off-boundaries for me and over my dead body will I have my hunger satisfied there.
Felt the immense pressure to perfom well in this year's intra-college chinese essay competition. I know I sounds too conceited for my own good in the previous entry but I really want to win. I know that I will be utterly disappointed if I fail to deliver my own expectations. Had already missed out some potential awards handed out this year due to some reasons which I won't elaborate but this is the award I can't afford to miss. So well , hope I come up with something inspirational and may the force be with me.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Monday, April 25, 2005
My blog has been collecting dust and yeah , I dun need any reminders for it. Actually I wanted to be consistent in my blogging but at times either I am too lazy or just that I prefer to let my mind run riot thinking of stuffs instead of using this space as an outlet of expression. Anyway here I am , forking out time to type this when I am supposed to mug finish Vietnamese Nationalism stuffs. This is no good , really.
Nothing much to type actually. Do you see the irony ? I think is due to me being 1 of the most unenthusiastic and passive person around. Tied down by a mundane routine , my schedule is being taken up almost everyday by schoolwork. I am sick of this conformity , and as much as at times I wanna play the bad role and stage a rebel or something but my conscious stops me. I know perfectly well that the only way to break out from this sickly restriction is to chiong harder and prove to all critics. I dun want to let those who have faith in me down. That includes a certain Miss Leong. Thanks for all your encouragements. I still remember the promise and I hope I won't let u down.
Studies aside , I think I am resigned to enlisting early. Yes , it is all thanks to the bloody bars. Actually I dun really mind the extra month of PTP. It just involves the question of vanity. Make a guess of what is it.
Love-wise , I am still living the way I am used to. I felt weird these days and I find myself having the feelings which are beyond description that I used to feel months ago. Maybe this is a good sign , as in I finally place a lock on the past memories and move on. Anyway I aren't that hopeful. Fate has always been playing tricks on me , and it always seems that I can't love the person that I really want to love. I dun want to say anymore regarding this issue because I hate speculations and definitely dun need any unnecessary rumours circulating around about me liking some1 or stuffs like that. Let nature takes its course , especially since my confidence has been shattered again and again till I am tired of it.
Right now , the main priority is still my work. Currently focusing on a new task coming up and I have no qualms of saying that I am going to repeat the feat I achieved last year and I am just going to make sure it happens.
Nothing is impossible , it only depends on whether u want to realise your goals by putting in the necessary effort.
Nothing much to type actually. Do you see the irony ? I think is due to me being 1 of the most unenthusiastic and passive person around. Tied down by a mundane routine , my schedule is being taken up almost everyday by schoolwork. I am sick of this conformity , and as much as at times I wanna play the bad role and stage a rebel or something but my conscious stops me. I know perfectly well that the only way to break out from this sickly restriction is to chiong harder and prove to all critics. I dun want to let those who have faith in me down. That includes a certain Miss Leong. Thanks for all your encouragements. I still remember the promise and I hope I won't let u down.
Studies aside , I think I am resigned to enlisting early. Yes , it is all thanks to the bloody bars. Actually I dun really mind the extra month of PTP. It just involves the question of vanity. Make a guess of what is it.
Love-wise , I am still living the way I am used to. I felt weird these days and I find myself having the feelings which are beyond description that I used to feel months ago. Maybe this is a good sign , as in I finally place a lock on the past memories and move on. Anyway I aren't that hopeful. Fate has always been playing tricks on me , and it always seems that I can't love the person that I really want to love. I dun want to say anymore regarding this issue because I hate speculations and definitely dun need any unnecessary rumours circulating around about me liking some1 or stuffs like that. Let nature takes its course , especially since my confidence has been shattered again and again till I am tired of it.
Right now , the main priority is still my work. Currently focusing on a new task coming up and I have no qualms of saying that I am going to repeat the feat I achieved last year and I am just going to make sure it happens.
Nothing is impossible , it only depends on whether u want to realise your goals by putting in the necessary effort.
Monday, April 11, 2005
I shall blog about what happened over the past weekend !
Caught Cyndi Wang Xin Ling live at CCK's Lot 1 shopping mall open area with a friend yesterday. Can't believe I was actually part of the camera-totting crowd. The crowd was so huge. The security people almost couldnt control the situation as the fanatic crowd got out of control at times. It didnt help that the autograph session was held at the open area yesterday. I just can't comprehend why the organisers must organise it there when they knew that such an open area will surely attract too many crowd. Not that it was such a bad thing compared to less people , but it was such a mess. You probably should have seen it urself to know what I mean. It doesnt help too , that Miss Wang herself was late by 15 minutes. Talk about the airs of a star.
However , all was forgiven when she started belting out hits like "Honey" etc. It was great. My friend and I encountered great difficulties trying to snap photos as we jostled among the sweat-stained people around us. We were literally testing our leg muscles by tip-toe-ing and holding our digital cameras up high to try to snap pictures based on our instincts. Given my 1.72m midget frame , I was virtually towered over by the people in front of me and some monkeys who stood on the barracks till they were ordered to come off. I am sure Mr Loke (My PE teacher) will be darn proud of us training our standing broad jump). Considered my friend and I were tested into great depth of our camera skills , some turned out real great.
Cyndi Wang Xin Ling
The best pics from my friend's collections.
The best pics from my collections.
Can't believe I was actually forking out time watching artistes live huh? I dun believe it either , but nevertheless it was a fun experience , especially snapping these exclusive pictures. I also recorded exclusive footages of Cyndi singing live. This is actually the 2nd time I caught her live. I saw her last year at Funan IT Mall when she came to promote her second album. Nah , I am not really a fan. I think Cyndi should stick to this bubblegum cutesy pop-dance songs as it suits her image and style. The song "Honey" no doubt can cheer a person up , especially after a tired day spent in school or something. Though I often listen to "Honey" whenever I felt worn out but more than often I find myself blasting my compiled CD of mostly Zhou Jie Lun's songs instead.
The epitome of "DIAO-ness". My most favourite singer besides S.H.E.
Also went to catch House Of Fury which is a film by Stephen Fung. One may dismissed this show as being masculine by the fact that it is a show peppered with lots of fighting scenes. However , Twins added a touch of feminity as Gillian is in charge of most of the fighting scenes and Charlene having a cameo appearance. The show's plot is easily predictable and contains simple romances. Being a typical contemporary Hongkong film , it has its own comedic moments which are spread throughout the entire show. Charlene initiates most of the bone-tickling moments but I was attracted to Gillian instead. Gillian is so sweet ! I was mesmerized by her lovable charm and at the same time , awe at her ferociousness when she fought those thugs. She is graceful and elegant , yet forceful enough to deliver the required punch. The show also tries to send the important message of family values but personally I felt that they should be further elaborated instead of just carrying it across briefly. Particularly I will like to mention also the pole-wielding Caucasian kid. His actions and agility in working with his pole when sparring are just drop-dead cool. I know a bit of pole twirling through self-taught lessons using a wooden pole (a token of remembrance from the D & T department of my alma mater St Gabriel's Sec) but I can never pull off such a stunt as he did. Simply amazing , pretty much reminds me of Billy Kane from King Of Fighters. Was rather disappointed with the plot because as mentioned earlier , it is rather simple with easily predictable ending - defeat all the thugs , family united , boyfriend and girlfriend kiss and make up..etc. The last part which Gillian's goofy boyfriend (played by Daniel Wu) said something like "Hope you will find a guy who loves you more than I do" is so....urgh. Too commonly unrefreshing for a change. Of course , Gillian accepted him back la. We dun expect a sad ending right ? Oh , there are some corny stuffs thanks to some scenes showing us the flying antics displayed by the retired old ex-spy. Like hello ? This movie is set on modern day scenerios and the audience are expected to believe that such gravity-defying skills still exist ?! They forgot that the law of physics exists in this modern world. Ha , I expect there will be pigs flying next. Critics aside , this show is definitely worth the money and unforgetable fighting scenes to cheer upon with credit to the renowned martial arts instructor Yuen Wo Ping. Maybe I am bias because I love watching action-packed movies , but I still rate this show 9/10.
Sacrificed the bowling session with Club Gusto over the weekend , but it was worth it.
===================================================================
This morning I took 156 to school and the bus driver was singing some chinese old songs so loudly with his funny tone. Was like .. WTF ?! Some passengers were ignorant of this while others were sniggering. Nah , can't blame him. Afterall , he is the supposedly captain of the bus and responsible for so many lives so it's within his rights to release his stress through this..erhmm..rather innovative channel. What ticks me most was that he made it a point to sing exceptionally loud whenever there were new passengers on board. Most were startled while the rest were bemused. Full of nonsense really and impressive though. One of the few stuffs that can actually lighten my usually sullen mood in the early mornings , apart from the superman/ultraman wannabe guy who made an announcement during morning assembly in school last friday.
Caught Cyndi Wang Xin Ling live at CCK's Lot 1 shopping mall open area with a friend yesterday. Can't believe I was actually part of the camera-totting crowd. The crowd was so huge. The security people almost couldnt control the situation as the fanatic crowd got out of control at times. It didnt help that the autograph session was held at the open area yesterday. I just can't comprehend why the organisers must organise it there when they knew that such an open area will surely attract too many crowd. Not that it was such a bad thing compared to less people , but it was such a mess. You probably should have seen it urself to know what I mean. It doesnt help too , that Miss Wang herself was late by 15 minutes. Talk about the airs of a star.
However , all was forgiven when she started belting out hits like "Honey" etc. It was great. My friend and I encountered great difficulties trying to snap photos as we jostled among the sweat-stained people around us. We were literally testing our leg muscles by tip-toe-ing and holding our digital cameras up high to try to snap pictures based on our instincts. Given my 1.72m midget frame , I was virtually towered over by the people in front of me and some monkeys who stood on the barracks till they were ordered to come off. I am sure Mr Loke (My PE teacher) will be darn proud of us training our standing broad jump). Considered my friend and I were tested into great depth of our camera skills , some turned out real great.
Cyndi Wang Xin Ling
The best pics from my friend's collections.
The best pics from my collections.
Can't believe I was actually forking out time watching artistes live huh? I dun believe it either , but nevertheless it was a fun experience , especially snapping these exclusive pictures. I also recorded exclusive footages of Cyndi singing live. This is actually the 2nd time I caught her live. I saw her last year at Funan IT Mall when she came to promote her second album. Nah , I am not really a fan. I think Cyndi should stick to this bubblegum cutesy pop-dance songs as it suits her image and style. The song "Honey" no doubt can cheer a person up , especially after a tired day spent in school or something. Though I often listen to "Honey" whenever I felt worn out but more than often I find myself blasting my compiled CD of mostly Zhou Jie Lun's songs instead.
The epitome of "DIAO-ness". My most favourite singer besides S.H.E.
Also went to catch House Of Fury which is a film by Stephen Fung. One may dismissed this show as being masculine by the fact that it is a show peppered with lots of fighting scenes. However , Twins added a touch of feminity as Gillian is in charge of most of the fighting scenes and Charlene having a cameo appearance. The show's plot is easily predictable and contains simple romances. Being a typical contemporary Hongkong film , it has its own comedic moments which are spread throughout the entire show. Charlene initiates most of the bone-tickling moments but I was attracted to Gillian instead. Gillian is so sweet ! I was mesmerized by her lovable charm and at the same time , awe at her ferociousness when she fought those thugs. She is graceful and elegant , yet forceful enough to deliver the required punch. The show also tries to send the important message of family values but personally I felt that they should be further elaborated instead of just carrying it across briefly. Particularly I will like to mention also the pole-wielding Caucasian kid. His actions and agility in working with his pole when sparring are just drop-dead cool. I know a bit of pole twirling through self-taught lessons using a wooden pole (a token of remembrance from the D & T department of my alma mater St Gabriel's Sec) but I can never pull off such a stunt as he did. Simply amazing , pretty much reminds me of Billy Kane from King Of Fighters. Was rather disappointed with the plot because as mentioned earlier , it is rather simple with easily predictable ending - defeat all the thugs , family united , boyfriend and girlfriend kiss and make up..etc. The last part which Gillian's goofy boyfriend (played by Daniel Wu) said something like "Hope you will find a guy who loves you more than I do" is so....urgh. Too commonly unrefreshing for a change. Of course , Gillian accepted him back la. We dun expect a sad ending right ? Oh , there are some corny stuffs thanks to some scenes showing us the flying antics displayed by the retired old ex-spy. Like hello ? This movie is set on modern day scenerios and the audience are expected to believe that such gravity-defying skills still exist ?! They forgot that the law of physics exists in this modern world. Ha , I expect there will be pigs flying next. Critics aside , this show is definitely worth the money and unforgetable fighting scenes to cheer upon with credit to the renowned martial arts instructor Yuen Wo Ping. Maybe I am bias because I love watching action-packed movies , but I still rate this show 9/10.
Sacrificed the bowling session with Club Gusto over the weekend , but it was worth it.
===================================================================
This morning I took 156 to school and the bus driver was singing some chinese old songs so loudly with his funny tone. Was like .. WTF ?! Some passengers were ignorant of this while others were sniggering. Nah , can't blame him. Afterall , he is the supposedly captain of the bus and responsible for so many lives so it's within his rights to release his stress through this..erhmm..rather innovative channel. What ticks me most was that he made it a point to sing exceptionally loud whenever there were new passengers on board. Most were startled while the rest were bemused. Full of nonsense really and impressive though. One of the few stuffs that can actually lighten my usually sullen mood in the early mornings , apart from the superman/ultraman wannabe guy who made an announcement during morning assembly in school last friday.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Fucked up day today. Nuff' said.
Korn - Did My Time
Realized I can never win
Sometimes I feel like I have failed
Inside where do I begin
My mind is laughing at me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Sometimes I can never tell
If I've got something after me
That's why I just beg and plead
For this curse to leave me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Betrayed
I feel so enslaved
I really Tried
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Oh God , the anger's changing me
===================================================================
Inspired by the 'O' grade I got for Economics and the flop in CLA Paper 1 for the block tests. Overall I didnt fail any papers but the final grades were disastrous which were not even worth mentioning about. Maybe the above are just over-stated words describing how I feel now but well , you will never know the pain unless you are in my shoes.
Life's a struggle.
However , when a person falls , he gets up and walks again.
I will bounce back.
Korn - Did My Time
Realized I can never win
Sometimes I feel like I have failed
Inside where do I begin
My mind is laughing at me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Sometimes I can never tell
If I've got something after me
That's why I just beg and plead
For this curse to leave me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Betrayed
I feel so enslaved
I really Tried
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me
Oh God , the anger's changing me
===================================================================
Inspired by the 'O' grade I got for Economics and the flop in CLA Paper 1 for the block tests. Overall I didnt fail any papers but the final grades were disastrous which were not even worth mentioning about. Maybe the above are just over-stated words describing how I feel now but well , you will never know the pain unless you are in my shoes.
Life's a struggle.
However , when a person falls , he gets up and walks again.
I will bounce back.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Today was supposed to be out with a good buddy of mine for a movie but it seems that she can never spare a free day out of her busy schedule for us to catch up with each other. Not that I mind actually , I can spend the day resting and doing my own stuffs. Best of all , I can save up unnecessary expenses.
Club Gusto was great fun yesterday. Instead of spending time mentoring with the kids , it was an afternoon of interaction with other SHG volunteers at CDAC headquarters. There was a short retreat for Gustorians only to attend a first aid lecture before we joined back the SHG volunteers in the auditorium. We played some interactive games like small group discussions and ice-breaking games. I am really glad it was not those lame sit-in-a-circle-and-introduce-urself-one-by-one that kind of stuff but rather they did it in an innovative way. The speaker himself is a teacher and he touched on topics like current trends in the teaching methods in our present education system etc. The SHG volunteers are a big group of hyper and friendly folks. The whole session kinda reminds me of those church cell groups' activities though. Nevertheless , it was a meaningful afternoon well-spent. Didnt join the rest for dinner. Actually I had wanted to drop by in town to hunt for a gift for a friend but I was rather tired so I just headed for dinner back in Serangoon with my friend before heading for home. I still have a few weeks' grace , no fear.
Rather worned out today and I guess is dued to the overstayed chat session online with a friend till the wee hours of Sunday morning. I once sworn to myself that from a particular day onwards , I wont ever stay up late and give up my beauty sleep for anybody unless the person deserves it , then again , is very seldom I see this friend online so I just chatted with her. Really enjoyed talking to her because she is one of those few friends who actually has the patience to listen to me rant and being understanding and also to give good advices. I am the sort who keep things to myself most of the time and seldom share with others because I dun want to increase other people's burdens and worries. This friend is actually 1 of the few whom I can share my personal problems with at ease and vice versa. Sometimes I do wonder whether I irritate her with all my nonsense , hahz..but well , she is a real great individual who possess a lovely charm and charisma that never ceases to amaze and overwhelms me. It's no surprise she earns her deserved position as VP in the SC.
Another start of the week and hopefully tml turns out fine because I just got this bad feeling that tml will be screwed. Hope this is just 1 of the many silly negative thoughts and that I can just breathe a sigh of relief and tell myself that I am thinking too much.
Club Gusto was great fun yesterday. Instead of spending time mentoring with the kids , it was an afternoon of interaction with other SHG volunteers at CDAC headquarters. There was a short retreat for Gustorians only to attend a first aid lecture before we joined back the SHG volunteers in the auditorium. We played some interactive games like small group discussions and ice-breaking games. I am really glad it was not those lame sit-in-a-circle-and-introduce-urself-one-by-one that kind of stuff but rather they did it in an innovative way. The speaker himself is a teacher and he touched on topics like current trends in the teaching methods in our present education system etc. The SHG volunteers are a big group of hyper and friendly folks. The whole session kinda reminds me of those church cell groups' activities though. Nevertheless , it was a meaningful afternoon well-spent. Didnt join the rest for dinner. Actually I had wanted to drop by in town to hunt for a gift for a friend but I was rather tired so I just headed for dinner back in Serangoon with my friend before heading for home. I still have a few weeks' grace , no fear.
Rather worned out today and I guess is dued to the overstayed chat session online with a friend till the wee hours of Sunday morning. I once sworn to myself that from a particular day onwards , I wont ever stay up late and give up my beauty sleep for anybody unless the person deserves it , then again , is very seldom I see this friend online so I just chatted with her. Really enjoyed talking to her because she is one of those few friends who actually has the patience to listen to me rant and being understanding and also to give good advices. I am the sort who keep things to myself most of the time and seldom share with others because I dun want to increase other people's burdens and worries. This friend is actually 1 of the few whom I can share my personal problems with at ease and vice versa. Sometimes I do wonder whether I irritate her with all my nonsense , hahz..but well , she is a real great individual who possess a lovely charm and charisma that never ceases to amaze and overwhelms me. It's no surprise she earns her deserved position as VP in the SC.
Another start of the week and hopefully tml turns out fine because I just got this bad feeling that tml will be screwed. Hope this is just 1 of the many silly negative thoughts and that I can just breathe a sigh of relief and tell myself that I am thinking too much.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
An early start to the day by typing this long overdued entry. Looking at the weather , it reminds me of some lyrics of a particular song..
The sky is gray.
Will it make me forget who you are?
Maybe fate is against will.
Alone and nobody to pair up and snuggle with.
Who is there to comfort me?
Maybe being blue is another sort of beauty.
Alright , out of point.
Rather inconsistent with my updating I know. I wanted to blog yesterday but I ended lazing around in front of my computer and blasting Zhou Jie Lun's songs.
This week was supposed to be "results' week" for the block tests but up to now only two papers were received : SEA History and CLA Paper 2. Even though I was among the higher scorers for both papers in the cohort but you know , personally I felt that the marks were disappointing. SEA source-based was a flop. I was confident that I can do much better than the marks I obtained for that section , considering the effort and time I put in. 1 hour and 20 minutes was unhealthy I know but what really amazes me was that my friend's 10 minute effort could actually obtained marks higher than me. When I said this I mean no disrespect to my friend but rather , a mock against me. People said that the higher hopes u pinned on something , the greater the disappointment of the outcome. How many disappointments must a person receive till he taste the sweetness of success ? History never fails to repeat itself , but I never seems to learn.
Learn , Andrew , LEARN.
CLA Paper 2 was a surprise and yes , the five marks cost me dearly as I predicted as it could bring me a leap forward in terms of position. However , it is no use saying all these because at the end of the year I am competing against not just students from NYJC but also other fellow jc folks in Singapore. I am not being arrogant and egoistic. Come to think of it , what is there for me to be proud of ? I dont see any achievements/personal abilities I can be proud of. There are so many other people out there who are fast improving and if I don't get a grip on something sturdy and get fucking work at least twice harder I will end up sliding into eternal hopelessness.
Went to the "chu3 cai2 bei1" competition held at Anderson Primary yesterday. It was a chinese essay competition held nation wide and the organisation was from Wuhan , China. Together with 4 others (3 were from LEP and the other one was the top scorer for CLA Paper 2 , so that leaves me the only one with practically nothing worth to be mentioned about) , we went to participate in this prestigious event. It attracted lots of students from other schools as well vying for top honours. The winners get to go on a trip to Wuhan , China to compete with the local folks there. I must say that the questions were real tough and challenging. I am not sure whether they like my work but I have a strong feeling it won't qualify for anything , not even the consolation prize. There are so many strong budding writers around and I really felt like a midget there. Even the girl from some school who was seated across me was still writing furiously when time expired. At the end of it all , everybody went home each with a certificate of participation and an essay book. It was an enriching experience and at the same time , it signaled to me that it is time to improve.
Recently I felt that there is some sort of mental block in my mind and ideas just don't flow easily as it should in the past when it comes to writing essays , both for english and chinese. As my Mom always says "without input , you will have no output". How true. I know english language is always not my forte but chinese ? I am still immersing in my past glorious days and remained stagnant while others are already pulling ahead of me. Nowadays my cla teacher has been criticising my compos indirectly , if not directly. Yes , I felt indignant all the time when he does this. Musicians take pride in their music , and I do take pride in my work. Since the day I wrote my first chinese essay way back young , every essay from then onwards are all my babies , and even though these products I churned out might not be the best but somehow I wish that people do not doubt my sincerity and effort. Then again , I know my standard of writing has been steadily declining. Sadly, pride has always overcome me.
By the way , I have decided not to pull out of Club Gusto for now. Shall stick around till July or something before I call it quits.
The sky is gray.
Will it make me forget who you are?
Maybe fate is against will.
Alone and nobody to pair up and snuggle with.
Who is there to comfort me?
Maybe being blue is another sort of beauty.
Alright , out of point.
Rather inconsistent with my updating I know. I wanted to blog yesterday but I ended lazing around in front of my computer and blasting Zhou Jie Lun's songs.
This week was supposed to be "results' week" for the block tests but up to now only two papers were received : SEA History and CLA Paper 2. Even though I was among the higher scorers for both papers in the cohort but you know , personally I felt that the marks were disappointing. SEA source-based was a flop. I was confident that I can do much better than the marks I obtained for that section , considering the effort and time I put in. 1 hour and 20 minutes was unhealthy I know but what really amazes me was that my friend's 10 minute effort could actually obtained marks higher than me. When I said this I mean no disrespect to my friend but rather , a mock against me. People said that the higher hopes u pinned on something , the greater the disappointment of the outcome. How many disappointments must a person receive till he taste the sweetness of success ? History never fails to repeat itself , but I never seems to learn.
Learn , Andrew , LEARN.
CLA Paper 2 was a surprise and yes , the five marks cost me dearly as I predicted as it could bring me a leap forward in terms of position. However , it is no use saying all these because at the end of the year I am competing against not just students from NYJC but also other fellow jc folks in Singapore. I am not being arrogant and egoistic. Come to think of it , what is there for me to be proud of ? I dont see any achievements/personal abilities I can be proud of. There are so many other people out there who are fast improving and if I don't get a grip on something sturdy and get fucking work at least twice harder I will end up sliding into eternal hopelessness.
Went to the "chu3 cai2 bei1" competition held at Anderson Primary yesterday. It was a chinese essay competition held nation wide and the organisation was from Wuhan , China. Together with 4 others (3 were from LEP and the other one was the top scorer for CLA Paper 2 , so that leaves me the only one with practically nothing worth to be mentioned about) , we went to participate in this prestigious event. It attracted lots of students from other schools as well vying for top honours. The winners get to go on a trip to Wuhan , China to compete with the local folks there. I must say that the questions were real tough and challenging. I am not sure whether they like my work but I have a strong feeling it won't qualify for anything , not even the consolation prize. There are so many strong budding writers around and I really felt like a midget there. Even the girl from some school who was seated across me was still writing furiously when time expired. At the end of it all , everybody went home each with a certificate of participation and an essay book. It was an enriching experience and at the same time , it signaled to me that it is time to improve.
Recently I felt that there is some sort of mental block in my mind and ideas just don't flow easily as it should in the past when it comes to writing essays , both for english and chinese. As my Mom always says "without input , you will have no output". How true. I know english language is always not my forte but chinese ? I am still immersing in my past glorious days and remained stagnant while others are already pulling ahead of me. Nowadays my cla teacher has been criticising my compos indirectly , if not directly. Yes , I felt indignant all the time when he does this. Musicians take pride in their music , and I do take pride in my work. Since the day I wrote my first chinese essay way back young , every essay from then onwards are all my babies , and even though these products I churned out might not be the best but somehow I wish that people do not doubt my sincerity and effort. Then again , I know my standard of writing has been steadily declining. Sadly, pride has always overcome me.
By the way , I have decided not to pull out of Club Gusto for now. Shall stick around till July or something before I call it quits.
